Don't piss off the Prince COMPLETE
by Ash The Digi 010
Summary: All five chapters wrapped in a tangy BBQ sauce. For what it's worth, I hate connecting Chapters, so I did this. For all songs parodied, go to Zetsusblade15'S Youtube page, and click on playlists.


Okay, due to the fact that I felt like reposting and chapter connection is a nightmare for me, I have put all Five Chapters together. (I did not do much editing.) Enjoy. -Ash

**Don't piss off the Prince: A Digimon fanfic**

Disclaimer: I can own Digimon. If this story does well, I will write sequels.

It was a happy day in the Digital World. Today, the Princesses of the Digital World would choose their princes. Princess Rika was not there, because she was asleep, in her "I hate boys" room. However, Princess Kari, Princess Yolei, Princess Zoe, Princess Mimi, and Princess Sora were. Sadly, Princess Jeri had been deported because of a Leomon toy incident. Every eligible Prince in the Digital World rushed in. However, this was actually because of the chilidogs, BBQ, and bacon promised. Not Marriage. Anyway, almost every Prince arrived in blue jeans and sweatshirts. And with high level Digimon. Prince Ryo wore his normal clothes, and paid for his foolishness with rabid, foaming, Ryo-hungry fangirls. After Ryo administered the rabies vaccine, they continued on. Each Princess dreamed of their Prince.

* * *

**In the Royal Mess hall...**

" I hope mine is cool as ice." said Princess Sora, the outspoken one. "I hope mine is pure of heart." said Princess Kari, the sweet one. Princess Mimi was freaking out. "I hope mine is dark and brooding." said Princess Yolei, the odd one. Princess Zoe was quiet. Princess Rika stumbled in wearing her jammies. She sat down in a chair, scratched her armpit, farted, and fell asleep again and started drooling.

* * *

**Some place in the city...**

"Guys!' shouted Prince Tai. "We need to get to the food before it's all gone!" "Hakuna Matata." Responded Prince Matt. "I'm still finishing this game demo." said Prince T.K. "I've still got some beef jerky." Said Prince Michael. "I'm cooking some Guilmon Bread." Said Prince Takato. "I'm practicing Pick-up lines." Said Prince Davis "I'm playing Prince Ryo in the Digimon card game." Said Prince Henry. "Yeah, and you're striking out like a batter without a bat." Said Prince Ryo. "That,' Said Prince Takuya, 'and he's bummed he doesn't any Hybrids." Yeah." Said Prince Koji. "And Prince Ryo has a Lucemon ShadowLord Mode, Susanoomon, and Beelzemon Blast Mode out. Which is kinda like cheating." Prince Ken sat there in the shadows, in Emoland. Then he stepped out, and said, no shouted, "WHO WANTS SOME COOKIES!" He threw 50 cookies like Shuriken , which speared Prince Takato in the butt, much to everybody's amusement. Then Prince Ken went back and brooded for an hour.

* * *

**The castle...**

"Princesses!" called their Digimon in waiting, "You need to get ready to meet the princes!" Princess Rika mumbled something, and all the Princesses gasped. Princess Mimi slapped her. "Language! How are you ever going to get a Prince if you act like that!" she said. "Maybe I don't want to get married! I'm out of here!" Princess Rika nearly shouted, and stormed off. "She'll come around.' said Renamon. "I'll go follow her. Make sure she doesn't get sexually harassed. That street gang still needs money for their operations. The castle still needs to be finished. We can't spare that much if it happens again." All the Princesses shivered in fright.

* * *

**In the streets...**

"I sure hope this disguise works." Princess Rika said. She was dressed in a dust-brown traveling cloak, Crocs, shorts, and had her Digi-Vice hidden in her pocket. She quietly sneaked in to the market place, but quickly noticed that Renamon was following her. And an overwhelming Aura of power. She quickly ducked into an alley, and ran smack into the Princes! Cyberdramon scooped her up by his claw and started questioning her. "What are you doing here? Where is the palace? Do you know how to get there? What's your name? I can tell if you are lying!" "CYBERDRAMON! What have I told you about scaring people?" Shouted Ryo. "Please don't hurt me!" Pleaded Princess Rika, playing the weak girl. "There's so much I want to do and see!" Then Prince Davis, always the comedian, pulled down Prince Ryo's pants. His boxers were adorned with Chibi Justimon. "That wasn't one of them." said Princess Rika, blushing and looking away. All the Princes roared with laughter. Suddenly, there was a ripping sound. Rika fell from Cyberdramon's claw, and a fragment of her shorts remained. "Nobody look!" She cried, covering her bottom. All of the Princes looked away. A few minutes later, she answered Cyberdramon's questions. But she didn't know who they were.

* * *

**Somewhere in the castle...**

"Well, this should be good for chapter one. But why that title? I'll solve after I get back."

"Big Brother! Where are you going?" To the alleyways little bro. The princes will be there soon."

* * *

**Back in the streets...**

He arrived with out a moment to lose. He whipped out his Laptop, and corrected every thing. Every one was stunned. Prince Tai and Prince Davis were the first ones to notice. "Who are you?" They said. "I'm a prince. Just like you." I responded. "What ever I write on my laptop happens. I'll show you." "No way." said Prince Tai "And suddenly, Prince Koji wet his pants at my skills" Suddenly Prince Koji shouted, " My pants are wet!" Everybody gasped. "And then, they miraculously dried!" Everybody was astounded. "It's time for you guys to get to the castle." I said. "Why should we listen to you?" asked Princess Rika. "Because, I am Prince Ash, and my invite told the truth." I responded. "What truth?" asked Prince Ken, finally revealing himself from the shadows. "You guys don't know? Rika knows." All eyes were on Princess Rika. "Why don't you tell us?" Roared Cyberdramon. "Cyberdramon! Chill out. I'm sure she has a good reason." The Princes waited for a reply. "Come to the palace." she said. Then, Prince Davis, always the one to speak out, said "Hey Prince Ash! Were is your Digimon?" Prince Ash stood there snickering. "You really want me to summon him? Seriously? Ok, you asked for it! ULFORCEVEEDRAMON! I summon thee!" A Blinding flash, a clap of thunder, a deafening roar, and spectral distortion, and a knight stood before them. A blazing powerful feeling of safety washed over them all. "I am One of the Royal Knights. The Exalted UlforceVeedramon!" he said coolly. "Let us go now to the castle my liege." Everybody was astounded. A Royal Knight!

* * *

**Back at the castle...**

"What do you mean lost her?" Princess Zoe said. "I tried following her but a strange power kept me back. And then there was this blast of light, and I couldn't follow her." Renamon said shamefully. "I'm sorry I failed you." "Cheer up!" said Princess Sora. "The Princes should be here soon." said Princess Mimi with a dreamy expression on her face. "Oh, what should we wear?" squealed Princess Yolei. "Princess Kari! Your Dress is ready! And it's cute!" Angewomon called. Princess Kari just grumbled.

* * *

**In the entrance hall... **

"Wow. Pretty cool place." Prince Matt said. "I can smell the BBQ from here!" said Prince Michael. "What are we waiting for then?" Said Prince Tai. And they all charged in, like rabid rabbits. A magnificent spread lay before them. Ribs stacked high as WarGreymon, Bacon spread out like a full house, mountains of Chili dogs, chicken grilled to a golden brown, and oh yeah, napkins. Lots of napkins. The Princes sat down and waited. Not very patiently. Fortunately, they were greeted quickly by the Princesses. Princess Rika had sneaked off. Prince Ryo noticed that she was gone. Then he saw her dressed in a simple dress, sitting with the Princesses. Soon dinner started, and the talk began. "Prince Davis pass me that knife. So Rika, what are you doing here?" said Prince Ryo "I'm one of the princesses." Princess Rika answered. KACHUNK! Prince Davis had not passed the knife, but thrown it in the air, were it landed _in Prince Ryo's leg! _"OWWWWW!" he wailed. "What's with the sudden music?" Prince Ash asked. (I feel a song coming on. Queen Fans, I am so sorry.)

Dinner Rhapsody (sung to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)

_"Is that a real knife? Or is it fantasy? Caught in the middle, no escape from the screaming. Cover your ears, look up to the skies and see." "I'm just prince, I need some sympathy," " Because it's easy in, easy out. Little Hi, Little Low," Hit me were the nurse is, quickly, my leg matters to me, really, really matters to me." _

_"Momma, just got stabbed. Asked for a knife, turned my head, I could be dead. Momma, didn't to make you cry, sometimes wish I'd never asked Prince Davis at all. Momma, ooh aoooh, (were is the nurse?) I don't to die, if I'm still alive tomorrow, dine on, dine on, as if nothing ever happened." _

**Back in the Dining hall...**

"Wow." said Princess Rika. "That was dramatic." "Yeah." said Prince Henry. "Especially the part where Prince Davis got blamed." Laughed Prince Tai. "Anyway," said Angewomon, who had just come in, " We need to talk about why you're here." "Lots of meat?" chimed in Prince Koji. "No," said Angewomon said, "Marriage. Some of you will be marrying one of the Girls in front of you." Suddenly, Prince T.K. snorted a rib bone up his nose. "Breathe little Prince Bro!" shouted Prince Matt. "I can fix it!" shouted a medic "Get him some water!" "Hey! That's Gilderoy Lockhart!" said Prince Ash. He quickly saw typing happening on his laptop. "Only one person would dare write my story... TUCKER!!!" Suddenly, a person fell through the ceiling. " Princes, Princesses, Digimon of all levels, meet my little brother and prince of cute things, Tucker. And his bakery bandit, Calumon." "Hello! What about T.K.?" Said Prince Matt. "Oh yeah," "And suddenly, the rib bone shot out a T.K.'s Nose, and speared Lockhart."

"Wow." Thought everyone. "This guy hold our lives in their hands. Better not piss him off."

**What will happen next? Will a prince get kicked out? Will Prince Tucker wake up? Will anyone get married? Tune in next time for another Chapter of D.P.O.T.P! **

**Don't Piss off the Princes Ch. 2**

**Kouji's Crush, and other random things**

After a musical number, Ryo almost dying, and Gilderoy Lockhart, (see Ch.1) everybody went on eating. Of course, this was hard because of the co-author lying on the table, facedown. (Ch.1 again) "Is Prince Tucker going to be ok?" Said Prince T.K., who had just recovered. "He'll be ok. You just have to have a rib placed in front of him." said Prince Ash. (This is actually true.) Prince Kouji placed a rib in front of Prince Tucker, unfortunately, he wasn't quick enough. Prince Tucker leaped up and bit off Prince Kouji's Hand! "EAAAAAARRRRGH!" Screamed Prince Kouji. "We can rebuild him. Stronger. Faster. Deadlier. We have the technology." said Prince Matt. "JUST DO IT ALREADY!" roared Prince Kouji.

* * *

(These are flashes of what Kouji heard during the operation.) "He's losing too much blood!" "Get that doctor in there!" "I think I dropped my cell phone in him!" "What's Phantomon doing here?" "Get me some beer here!" " I want him on the Nemesis Project!" "Get out of here!"

* * *

**In the hospital room...**

"Ugh. Where am I?" Said Prince Kouji. "They tried everything. Lasers, pistols, women's underwear, axes, everything. But they ran out of ideas. They did the hardest thing. See for yourself." Said Prince Ash, handing him a mirror. "AHHHH!" screamed Prince Kouji. "I'm Darth Vader!" "Oh, yeah. The hallucinogens should wear off soon." Said Prince Tucker, who had spoken for the first time. "Here's your old hand." A pile of crap landed on Prince Kouji's lap. "But this is a pile of crap." "I know. I found my digestive system couldn't regurgitate food." "You mean... EWWW! By the way, what is up with my arm? It feels tickly." "See for yourself." Said Prince Davis who looked jealously at Prince Kouji's arm. "It's Auto-mail!" said Prince Kouji. "That actually attracts girls." Remarked Prince Matt. "Oh well." Said Prince Kouji. "Let's see what's on TV."

"Sitcoms, reality TV shows, sports, ads, this weird anime called Digital Demons,"

"That's actually good I've heard." piped up Prince Tai. "Shut up, its the news." said Prince T.K.

"No news on the wave of bakeries being robbed by a white imp. Last time this thief was caught on tape, he gave the finger. He goes by many names, such as the Bakery Bandit, Pastry Pirate, Danish Devourer, etc. Here's his photo." And then a picture was held up, and everyone stared. A purple tufted, 1 foot tall Digimon was there, wearing a ski mask. "Prince Tucker...." whispered Prince Ash. "Take care of our thief." Prince Tucker ran out, with a glazed doughnut in his hand. "We won't see him for a chapter or two." (No one understood what he said.)

* * *

**Back at the castle....**

"I hope prince Kouji is okay..." said Princess Zoe. "Ah, who gives a crap?" Grunted Princess Rika. "I do, I sent the piece of crap that Prince Tucker gave him." Said Princess Mimi. Everyone stared. "So much for being a lady." said Princess Kari. "They're back!" called Angewomon. A musical song reached their ears, if not disturbingly.

(Parody of the sailor song by Toybox)

_So if we all come together, we know what to do. We all come together, just to sing we love you. And if we all come together, we know what to do. We all come together just for you! Racing all around the seven islands, chasing all the girls and singing awkward songs. 'Causing peace everywhere we go, Party-hardy in the Digital , squealing, jumping from the ceiling. Drinking, drinking 'till we can't be thinking. Wheeling, dealing, lots of sex-appealing, Come, let us sing the Digi-song! So if we all come together, we know what to do. We all come together, just to sing we love you, and if we all come together, we know what to do. We all come together just for food!_

Everyone was walking along the path, carrying Prince Kouji on their shoulders, and swishing root beer in their complimentary hospital mugs. "Well," said Princess Yolei, "They seem to have accepted the fact that they must get married." "Better not count on it." said Princess Rika.

* * *

**Later, in the hall.... **

"Ok guys, we can dump him here." said Prince Davis. And they all dropped him on the ground. He started bleeding profusely, and at that time, the princesses came in. "Attention perverted wastoids!" shouted Angewomon. At this, Prince Ash sighed, took out his laptop, and did some revisions. "Attention fine Princes!" said Angewomon. "That's better." said Prince Ash. "Anyway," said Angewomon, you must all start going on dates. I have put each prince's name in this hat. Each princess will take out a name, and then they'll go on a date with that prince. Comprende?" Everyone nodded. "Ok, lets get this over with." groaned Princess Rika. Every princess reached into the hat. Each princess pulled a name out of the hat, and these were the names: Davis, Kouji, Matt, Ken, Ryo, Michael. "And, Princess Zoe, who did you get?" She looked up shyly, and said, "Prince Kouji."

* * *

**Later, in the park, much later.... **

**(Skipping most of date)**

"Wow, so that's what happened." said Princess Zoe. "Yeah, Prince Tucker has a really strong bite." And then they hugged. Then a beeping sound was heard. Princess Zoe's eyes grew wide. She looked at her watch. And kicked Prince Kouji towards the mountains. "Wow, what was that?" said Princess Kari, who just happened to be walking by, with Gatomon. "Its my virgin alarm, its set to go off before he does. $5 at Radiohut." "I need one of them, Prince Davis has been staring at me." said Princess Kari. "What did I tell you?" said Gatomon. "Angewomon said that, not you." Said Princess Zoe.

* * *

**High in the mountains...**

"Ugh, where am I?" said Prince Kouji, rubbing his head.

(Get ready...)

oooooooh I am the Burgermon, ooh coming in from Burger land.

I wish that you were my lunch. I will never get enough. You show me to the burger tree, will you give me a soda pop. For with me Griller, I'm your sweet burger. This is the end - of the sweet juicy Burgermon.

"Good God." moaned Prince Kouji, before passing out.

**What will happen next? Who gets a date with who? Will Prince Kouji wake up and arrive in Ch.4? Will prince Davis and Prince T.K. have a huge lightsaber fight for Princess Kari's love? If you tell me to, I will!**

**Don't Piss off the Prince Ch. 3**

A Digimon Fanfic

Much ado about dueling and former organizations.

(If you think this chapter is almost too stupid to exist, please say so!)

Recap: The Princesses of the digital world were supposed to choose their princes, but something unfortunate happened. One princess ran from the palace, and was found by the princes, who did not know who she was. At this time, The Author, Prince Ash, along with his little brother Prince Tucker, had to step in, and stop chaos from happening, all because Ash had to go to the bathroom while writing. (Not said in first chapter, but implied to a degree.) Now, with one of the princes in Burgerland, (see ch. 2) and Prince Tucker's partner Digimon robbing every pastry shop for five hundred miles, and Ash's laptop being able to change the world, our story continues.

The day began normally for the Princes, except for Prince Henry falling off a tower, and breaking a leg, along with a drastic shortage of bacon, it was otherwise normal, excepting the fact that some Princesses like watching Princes sleep. "How late are they going to sleep for?" asked Princess Mimi. "Mimi," said Princess Sora, "They've been up for hours training." Suddenly, Prince Michael walked in, wearing only his boxers. Princess Mimi fainted. Princess Sora just looked away. Prince Michael just shrugged and walked out. "I'll never understand women." He said as he walked out.

**In the Royal Mess hall…**

After breakfast, (and yet another trip to the hospital) the next date was announced. "Princess Mimi and Prince Michael!" called out Angewomon. "While this is happening, what will we do?" asked Prince Tai. Prince Ash thought for a second, and then spoke up. "I HAVE AN IDEA!" he shouted, if not intentionally. "Let's have a jousting match or a war game!" Prince T.K. spoke up right about then. "A war game? What's that?" Prince Ash suddenly brought up some video feed from his computer, and hooked it up to a nearby Plasma screen TV. "YouTube. Best vid site in the whole Digital data files." He said. They all watched, and saw several Digimon, called up from figures, arose on a battlefield. "That looks suspiciously like you Ash." said Princess Rika. "I think it is." Piped up Princess Kari. Ash nodded. "This is a program I made called The Virus Wars, and it's about millions of Kuramon attacking and plugging the networks." They then watched it, but it was long. Several of the Princes wanted to try it, and so they did. After it all, (and it was 4 hours long...) Prince Tai suggested that they save it to the computers. "But what should we call it?" asked Prince Matt. "How about Our War Game?" said Prince T.K. Everyone thought for a second, and then Prince Tai answered. "No, I think that's been done..." Prince Ash shrugged. Then it was the Princesses turn to think up something to do. (And of course, it was going to be embarrassing...) Princess Sora suggested a play, and, of course, the Princes had no say in it. "Let's but on a Spanish play!" squealed all the girls in unison. Prince Ken walked out, and Princess Yolei had to drag him back. Here are the parts they got.

The cast of La Crazyblés

Princess Kari: The town's popular girl, Cassandra

Princess Yolei: Jenny, the vacationing student

Princess Sora: Annette, the caretaker of Cassandra

Princess Rika: Jonny, the town's head cop (she had no complaints.)

Princess Zoe: Danni, maid in Cassandra's manor

Prince Tai: Diego, a suitor of Annette, and Rival of Ricardo.

Prince Matt: Ricardo, the other suitor of Annette, and rival of Diego.

Prince T.K.: T Diddy, resident pimp, (no, wait, that's incorrect.)

Correction: Thomas, leader of the football team.

Prince Ken: Fernando, the resident emo/heartthrob.

Prince Davis: Romero, captain of the Soccer team.

Prince Ash: Mario, the mysterious man + Narrator.

Prince Takuya: Cameron, the cameraman.

Prince Ryo: The doctor

And several Digimon as the thieves and random parts.

(No, this will really happen. Try to imagine the costumes.)

And so it began…

Scene 1: **Taking care in these fine streets..**

Jenny: Oh dear, I think my trip to Russia dropped me off some where else. (She's in Madrid, Spain)

(Suddenly, shots ring out!)

Jenny: Holy crap! What was that?

(Enter Jonny.)

Jonny: Damn thieves! Get for asses back here! (Fires off more shots, and hits a criminal.)

(Enter the doc)

Doc: Oh Jonny, you shot another one to death. Now I have to clean this up.

(Jonny spits into the street.)

Jonny: Eh, what the hell do I care? He tried to feel me up.

(The Doc stares blankly.)

Doc: You're a guy.

Jonny: Sez you. I think he was a homo.

(Doc backs away.)

Jenny: Well, I guess this is an interesting place.

(Enter Fernando.)

Sasuke :( Got to correct that…) Does anyone have a knife? (He then walks up to a vendor.)

(Jenny stares longing at him.)

Jenny: (Whispers) Who is that?

Doc: Oh, him? That's Fernando, the resident emo.

(Jenny faints in light of his supposed hotness.)

Doc: Oh great, another patient.

(Fernando comes over.)

Fernando: Can I help? (Holds a knife in his hands.)

Doc: Um sure, just take her to your house ok?

Fernando: Gladly. (Drags her away by her legs.)

Doc: What have I done? (Shakes his head.)

Jonny: Doomed her to suffer?

(Lights dim.)

(Mario, in a traveling cloak, appears on stage.)

Mario: And so, young Jenny was taken to Fernando's house. But what awaited her was what she least expected. BoBo-Bo was there. Not really.

Scene 2 **Dueling and a attempt at fooling. **

(Jenny wakes up on a sofa.)

Jenny: Where am I?

(Enter Annette and Danni.)

Annette: Oh, look Danni! She's awake!

Danni: Yippee. Did he really have to drop her there?

Jenny: Drop me where?

Danni: On a sofa over the viper pit. (Points down.)

Jenny: Holy ****!

(Faints and nearly falls in, but is rescued by a strange guy.)

Thomas: Name's Thomas, and since I'm a football legend, I can catch anything!

(Romero runs in)

Romero: Oh yeah? Since I'm a soccer star, I can kick anything!

(Kicks him in the face.)

Odd voice: Boys! Stop fighting!

(Ricardo and Diego enter.)

Diego: Yeah guys, stop fighting.

Ricardo: Hey, that's what I said!

Diego: I know that!

Ricardo: Shut up you *******!

Annette: Shut up both of you! (Jumps between them and kicks them in the nuts.)

(Both crumple and fall on the ground.)

Diego: MY LITTLE DIEGOS!

Ricardo: I think I'm bleeding….

Annette: Humph.

Cameron: Um, that was not in the script.

Mario: Who cares? Unscripted things are the best.

"Like this!" and the nearest window shattered. Several people in black cloaks with red clouds jumped onto the stage. "The Akatsuki." Prince Ash said with malice in his voice. "Yes Ash, or should I call you, Ashkatsuki!" cried out Sasori. "I left you guys years ago after you started killing. We were supposed to be a videogame store crew!" Ash replied. There was a pause. A very long pause. "You didn't need to tell them that." Whispered Itachi. "Yeah." Said Kisame. "We want you to take over again. We don't want to be run by a cursed fruit horse!" There was a pause. "You are thinking of Gonfald the sky knight's horse right?" Ash asked. 'That horse's name is Pierre. Not Pein!" Kisame just stayed quiet. "Simple mistake." said Deidara. Meanwhile, all the Princes and Princesses were drinking some soda and eating White Castles. Zetsu was trying to eat Patamon. Suddenly, another window was crashed into. Angewomon stood up. "How many things are going to break in the castle today?" As she said this, the kitchen ignited, the tower fell over, a dragon burned the moat mechanism, and the royal mess hall pillars collapsed. "There's your answer. Kingdom Hearts." said the window crashers leader. "Org. XIII!" cried out Princess Kari. "Yep." Nodded Prince Ash. "I used to see them a lot back when Tucker was with them." The room was silent. "He was one of them?" Prince Tai said weakly, pointing at them. "Yep." Said a voice. "Xerkuct, wielder of the leafy rope javelin." And Prince Tucker walked out from behind Zexion, who was reading Make-out Paradise. "Whoa." Everyone but the Akatsuki and Prince Ash gasped. (And Org. XIII of course.) "Wait!" cried out Angewomon. Larxene shocked her. "Quiet for a second." And kicked her. "We cannot battle here," said Xemnas, "(Kingdom Hearts) the Rules dictates that in a case of multiple group melee, a karaoke party must be called, followed by a Pokémon battle and a wrestling match." Then he folded his arms. "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?" shouted Princess Rika.

First song! **Poor Unfortunate Hearts! **Sung by Marluxia! (Oh dear…)

Parody of Poor Unfortunate Souls.

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light and made a switch

True? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And here lately, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, lonely and depressed

(Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate hearts

In pain

In need

This one longing to be bolder

That one wants to tell the truth

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate hearts

So sad

So true

They come flocking to my flowers,

Crying, "Emotions Marly please!"

And I help them?

Yes, I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross my scythe

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate hearts

Come on, your poor unfortunate heart

Go ahead!

Make your choice!

I'm a very busy woman (Maybe.)

And I'm definitely not gay.

It won't cost much

Your poor unfortunate Heart

It's sad

But true

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet

You've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and Seal the deal!

Xigbar, Vexen, now I've got them, boys

The boss is on a roll

This poor unfortunate heart!

And the scores: Digi: 8/10 Org 13: 8/10, Akat: 3/10

"You're biased Itachi!" shouted Princess Kari. "TTHHHP!" was his reply.

Next song! **Devils! **Sung by Mister Devil Himself, Tobi! (Wait…)

Parody of "Angels"

Fiery devil, I believe  
You were my tempter, in my time of need.  
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear  
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.  
I see the devils,  
I'm lead to your door.  
There's no escape now,  
No mercy no more.  
No remorse cause I still remember

The grin when you tore me apart.  
You took my soul,  
Deceived me right from the start.  
You showed me dreams,  
I wished they'd turn into real.  
You tricked me and made me realize.  
It was all just a lie.

Fiery Devil, I couldn't see  
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.  
Fallen angel, tell me why?  
What is the reason, the horns above your eyes?  
I see the devils,  
I'm lead to your door  
There's no escape now  
No mercy no more  
No remorse cause I still remember

The grin when you tore me apart  
You took my soul,  
Deceived me right from the start.  
You showed me dreams,  
I wished they'd turn into real.  
You tricked me and made me realize.  
It was all just a lie.  
I could have lived forever.  
Now I have reached my death.

This world may have failed me,  
It didn't give the reason why.  
You could have chosen a different path in life.

The grin when you tore me apart.  
You took my soul,  
Deceived me right from the start.  
You showed me dreams,  
I wished they'd turn into real.  
You tricked me and made me realize.  
It was all just a lie.  
I could have lived forever.  
Now I have reached the end.

"WOOT!" cried everyone that was in the Akatsuki. And some of the Digimon heroes.

Scores: Digi: 9/10 Org 13: 8/10 Akat:5/10

"We didn't like his song that much." said Sasori. Tobi cried in the corner.

Suddenly, Calumon jumped out from Prince Tucker's cloak and said that he was going to sing. "I'm going to sing now!" Then he jumped up on stage in a cloak and half a mask.

Suddenly, a backdrop and a bakery display case appeared. "Did you have anything to do with this?" asked Princess Kari. Prince Ash smiled.

**Phantom of the Bakery** sung by Calumon**.**

Sweet Roll:  
In sleep he sang to me,  
In dreams he came.  
That voice which calls to me,  
And licks his lips  
And do I dream again?  
For now I find,  
The Phantom of the Bakery is here,  
Outside the case.

Phantom:  
Sing once again with me,  
Our strange duet.  
My hunger for you,  
Grows stronger yet.  
And though you look up to me,  
To glance above.  
The Phantom of the Bakery is there,  
outside the case .

Sweet roll:  
Those who have seen your face,  
Draw back in fear.  
It's the frosting you wear.

Phantom:  
It's me they fear.

Sweet Roll (Phantom):  
my (your) spirit and my (your) hunger,  
In one combined.  
The Phantom of the Bakery is here (there)  
Inside my (your) mind

Offstage:  
He's there, the Phantom of the Bakery!  
Beware, The Phantom of The Bakery!

Phantom:  
In all your fantasies  
you always knew  
that Carlos and Bob

Sweet Roll:  
Were eaten by you.

Sweet Roll: I'm in this labyrinth  
where night is blind  
the Phantom of the bakery is (there) here  
outside the case

Phantom:  
Sing my Angel of Sugar

Sweet Roll:  
He's there, The Phantom of the Bakery!

Phantom:

Sing!

Phantom:  
Sing for me!

Phantom:  
Sing my angel of sugar!

Phantom:  
SING FOR ME!

Phantom:  
I have brought you,  
To my mouth of sweet foods end.  
To this kingdom where all must pay homage to sugar,  
sugar.  
You have come here.  
For one purpose and one alone.  
Since the moment I first heard you sing,  
I have needed you with me to serve me, for I was hungry,  
For my hunger.  
My hunger.

CHOMP.

"How tragic." Sniffled Princess Sora.

Hopefully the final song: **Can you feel the hate tonight? **Parody of Can you feel the love tonight?

Sung by Prince Davis and Veemon!

D: See what's happening?

V: No, what?D: And they don't have a clue

V: Who is it?D: They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line, my coolness is down to two.

V: Oh. Gotcha. It was higher than that?D: The sweet caress of twilightThere's magic everywhereAnd with all this romantic atmosphere

V: Disaster's in your singing..

D and V: Can you feel the hate tonight?The malice the evening bringsThe world for once in imperfect harmonyWith all its living things.

V: Because Davis started singing..D: So many things to tell herBut how to make her seeThe truth about my past, impossibleShe'd turn away from me

V: Like how you wet your bed..

D: HEY!

D: She's holding back, she's hidingBut what, I can't decideWhy won't she be the queen I know she is?

V: The queen you see inside will be easier..

D and V: Can you feel the hate tonight?The malice the evening bringsThe world, for once, in imperfect harmonyWith all its living things.

V: Because you saw Kari with T.K. and started singing..

D: Can you feel the hate tonight?I needn't look too farStealing through the night's uncertaintiesLoving is where they are,D: And if he feels the hate tonightIn the way I doIt's enough for this restless wanderer,

V: Because T.K. will kill you….

Then the two took a bow. Princess Kari and left awhile back to get a drink, so she didn't know anything that had happened in the song. However, Prince T.K. had. And he was pissed. He leaped up on stage, sword from the play at his waist. "You villainous rouge! You conniving knave!" he shouted, drawing his sword. "A prince with seven fingers on one hand!" gasped Prince Davis, drawing his sword. Prince T.K. looked down. "Holy crap!" he said. "I do have seven fingers!" Prince Ash just smirked, holding his laptop. "My name is Prince Davis Montoya," he said, twirling his sword, "And you stole my girlfriend, prepare to die!" And so the swords crashed, blood flew through the air. And then Princess Kari entered. At this point, not impressed with the play swords carnage, Prince Ash had rewarped the story so that they were dueling with lightsabers. "What the hell is all this?" Princess Kari screeched. "Khgfthfth." Replied Prince Tai, his mouth full of popcorn. He swallowed, and repeated himself. "Lightsaber duel for your love." A swish was heard, and Prince T.K. nearly lost his left arm. "I never stole your girlfriend!" shouted Prince T.K. "She wasn't yours to lose!" Org. 13 and the Akatsuki just sat in the stands drinking soda and eating popcorn. "That's it!" shouted Princess Kari. "I've had enough!" and she leaped towards the two dueling Princes. "Princess!" shouted Angewomon. A blur leaped past her, as she came between the two. "Dedigivolve!" shouted Prince Ash to his partner, Ulforceveedramon. He dedigivolved, and then Prince Ash pulled out a bullet. "Dark Digivolve!" he shouted. "Beelzemon Blast Mode! Stop them!" and he did. One gun in front of each one's faces, they had to stop. "One move," growled BeelzeBM, "And your heads are gone." They both backed down, and Princess Kari slapped them both. "You stupid bastards! I hate you both!" and she broke down into crying. Prince Ash typed something into his laptop, and Prince T.K.'s fingers returned to normal. "Revert." He said to BeelzeBM. He did. Prince Ash put his hand on Princess Kari's shoulder, and glared at the two formerly dueling Princes. (Sorry LordPata, I just didn't want to have T.K. win.) "Angewomon, could you please take Princess Kari out of the drawings? She'll need some time to recover from this." He asked. She nodded. By this time, the Akatsuki and Org. XIII had decided to sleep at the castle for however long the princes would be there for. However, Princess Rika did not approve of this, and asked Prince Ash to make them sleep at the guest castle, 30 miles away.

* * *

**Back with the current dates…**

"This was a great date." said Princess Mimi to Prince Michael. "Yep." He answered. Suddenly, smoke started to pour over the sky line. "I wonder what that is?" Prince Michael. Without warning, Rapidmon, who had preferred this, rather than be on Prince Michael's shoulder, rushed up. "Your highness!" he panted. "It's the castle! Prince Tai's partner accidently digivolved to SkullGreymon and totally owned the castle!" All was silent for a moment. "That can't be all." Said Prince Michael. "Oh yes, Prince Ryo accidently dodged a fire ball, and it hit the gas generator." Said Rapidmon. Princess Mimi fainted. "How much was destroyed?" asked Prince Michael. "The whole north complex detonated." Rapidmon responded. Prince Michael sank to the ground. "Are you serious?" he whimpered. "Majintai!" responded Rapidmon. "Huh?" asked Prince Michael. "Terriermon taught me it. But I think its pronounced Momentai." Replied Rapidmon. "So, you're sure?" asked Prince Michael again. Rapidmon nodded. As he did this, the rest of the castle mushroom clouded behind them. "Oops." Said Rapidmon. "I forgot to mention that all the others digivolved to stop him, so lots of fire was being flung around." A shockwave blew past them, pressing them into the ground. "Ah shit." said Prince Michael before he passed out.

(I promise we are now out of crazy land. I swear it on my fanfictioneers's license.)

* * *

**Back in the smoking ruin that was the castle…**

Smoke billowed from every brick, and ashes covered the area. However Prince Ash had activated a shield the moment the second explosion had ripped. He powered the shield off, and everyone around him collapsed. And so did what was left of the castle. Miraculously, (or just planned) all their belongings, clothes, and everything else that belonged to any of them was untouched. Just the furniture and castle it self was scorched. The Princes got up first, and looked around. Ulforceveedramon surveyed the area, whistling as he gazed upon the ruin. All the other Digimon got up, and a brick hit Hawkmon on the head. Same with most of the others too. Then the Princesses started to cry. Prince Tucker pulled out a burrito that had been nuked by the blast. "Yum. Warm and toasted." He said. Prince Ash slapped him. "There are girls crying within twenty feet of you and all you can do is eat a nuked burrito?" Prince Tucker gulped down some of the burrito. At this moment, the two dating lovebirds appeared at what used to be the mess hall door. Princess Mimi suddenly fainted, for virtually the seventh time this chapter. Prince Ash shook his head. "Time to go to me and Tucker's castle." "Where's that?" asked Princess Zoe. "Between and under those mountains to the east somewhat." He said, pointing to the east. "Your father is king under the mountain?" asked Prince Ryo. "Somewhat, but he's not a dwarf. (Look in The Hobbit for explanation.) And the castle is virtually the mountain itself. So it's big enough." Everyone was quiet for a moment. "What do we have to lose?" remarked Prince Davis. (Prince Henry is in the hospital, so he is out. So is Prince Takato, but he gets to stay with everyone because he is homeless.)

**What will happen next? Will they successfully make it to the mountain? Will Prince Kouji return from Burgerland? Find out in the next chapter of DPOP! **

**Note: Prince Tai or Prince Matt? Which one do you think should get Princess Sora?**

**Don't Piss off the Prince Ch.4:**

**A Digimon Fanfic**

**Returning, slightly adult themes, and having Shexy Pahty's.**

_Recap: The Princesses of the digital world were supposed to choose their princes, but something unfortunate happened. One princess ran from the palace, and was found by the princes, who did not know who she was. At this time, The Author, Prince Ash, along with his little brother Prince Tucker, had to step in, and stop chaos from happening, all because Ash had to go to the bathroom while writing. The Akatsuki and Org. XIII crashed through the mess hall during a Spanish play, which eventually resulted in the furnaces/ generators blowing up half the castle, (Ch.3, my favorite.) Prince Ash offered to take them to his castle, high in the mountains. Now we return to the randomness already in progress.._

_(Note: The laptop is still godly.)_

The Princes and the Princesses had been walking for hours. No one had really been prepared for a _thirty hour hike. _Prince Ash was just fine. He was used to this. "Everyone still alive?" he asked, looking back. Princess Sora had already fallen down. Prince Matt tried to help her up, but was punched by Prince Tai, causing yet another squabble for her attention. "Will you two stop fighting?" Prince T.K. said. "We can't help it!" Prince Tai said back. And so they climbed for a little longer, eventually reaching a rest stop. "Who knew that there was a Burger King this high in the mountains?" Prince Ken. "Or a Subway." Princess Yolei said, trying to cling on to Prince Ken so she wouldn't fall. Prince Ken of course, was about to tumble over the cliff and hit the sharp pointy rocks below. Fortunately he didn't. (I'd really hoped he would.) Meanwhile the princes were enjoying double cheese whopper, while everyone else was hanging off the edge of a cliff as per the authors stupid ideas. Afterwards, they set out again. Unfortunately, half the party was still hungry, because Calumon had stolen all their food, and then ran off. This did not stop them in their quest. Eventually organization 13 fell off a cliff, because some guy with a duck and a weasel attacked them. Prince Tucker was not with them at the time, so he was spared falling into a sharp pointy rock. "Do not forget on us number 14!" shouted Xemnas as he and the rest fell into the rocks below, spared only because there are good sources for comic relief. Prince Tucker was unaffected. "And who cares?" he shouted back. Larxene at this basically hit him in the hand with a kunai. Prince Ash laughed, for the first time all day. "Just suck it up and get moving." And so the story got even more boring, and eventually they reached the castle. Of course, as is common when you approach your homes after a long absence, the guards started raining holy fire upon you. If this happens to you, then you're in the 15th-century, or a fan fiction. "Okay you guys knock it off." Prince Ash called up. "S.O.B!" cried one of the guards. "We've been hitting master Ash!" and then they opened the gates. Later the Akatsuki finally caught up, but Itachi had some problems with the guard, and Zetsu ate a rock shaped like a ninja. But do you really need to know that?

* * *

_**In the other mess hall...**_

In all honesty we cannot truly say whether or not Prince Ash has a good house, but for some odd reason is extremely like a Playboy mansion. The pool in the shape of a bunny's head is unconfirmed. "Wow it's sparkly." Princess Kari remarked. Prince Ryo was busy at this point, along with the other princes, not counting from Prince Takato and Prince Henry. Mainly because Prince Henry was in the hospital, and Prince Takato was working in the kitchen. And then the fun started. "Damn! I didn't know it was legal to have paintball matches in the locker rooms!" Prince Davis responded, after seeing highly trained snipers aiming at his head, all with paintball gear on. "Uh.. Master Davis?" said a butler nearby, "Those are the painful guns, not the paintball kind." Prince Davis froze. "Ah shit." said Prince Davis, ducking for cover. The snipers pulled the trigger, and laughed. "Got you sucker!" said the nearest sniper, pulling off his hood. It was Prince T.K. "And here's a song to cheer you up you little asswipe. As sung by Prince Ken!"

**Stick a revolver in your ear. **(Do I need to say it?)

K: Davis, you look quite down, With your big fat eyes and your big fat frown. The world doesn't have to be so f*****d.

Davis, when your life's a mess, when you're feeling blue, which doesn't match princess Yolei's dress. I know what can wash that sad away. All you have to do is:

K: Put a revolver in your ear!

D: **Are you crazy man?**

K: Put a loaded gun right into your favorite 's true

D:** Says who?**

K: So it's in your gloom will bad in the world is hard to hear,When in your ear a gun is cocked,So go and put a revolver in your ear!

Put a revolver in your ear!

D: **I'd rather keep my ear clear.**

K: You will never be happy if you live your life in 's true

D: **F*** and screw you. **

K: You too,When it's in the skies are bright and every day of every year,The sun shines bright on this digital realm,So go and put a revolver in your ear! (And then maybe we can get rid of you.)

And then, all of the Akatsuki's rings came off, and started glowing at Prince Davis. "OMG! You're the stupid king Davis!" squealed Princess Mimi. Prince Tucker suddenly spoke up. "I think he was hanging the out there already."

* * *

**Later...**

They finished dinner rather quickly, thanks to the laptop's time warp function. Soon, Prince Ash stood up. "Now, I know that our lives are incredibly boring, so I've arranged a Shexy Pahty, and unfortunately, due to the fact that I'm the author, you have no choice. and since all of us (excluding the Akatsuki) are underage, alcohol, cigarettes and drugs will be freely available, but in very limited quantities, so share." (Remember dear readers, this is not supposed to happen, due to the fact that it is illegal.) The room erupted with joyous shouting and everyone ran off to get their clothes for the party. Albeit, Prince Ryo went commando. Little did he know that there would be rabid fan girls outside. Again.

________________________________________________________________________

The party went great, or at least until the boys got out of control. The author and

co-author were not part of this. However, the author was reportedly seen with Princess Kari, and Prince Tucker with Princess Zoe. Meanwhile, back in the main room, the Akatsuki, namely Konan and Tobi, pushed it over the edge. The report would later say, and you can quote us on this, "Massive amounts of strippers assault and rob seven hundred inebriated teens while giving various things." No, we are not kidding you. Anyway, back at the party, Prince Ash and Prince Tucker's parents came home, and went unconscious. However, in the land of moral decay formerly known as the basement, pot, dope, speed, and crack would be used, but to a very interesting point, fated to be told as: _**How many drugs can we fit into a fire cracker before we light it, and utterly lose our little Diegos? **_Needless to say, Prince Tai was out of the running. Suddenly, the door burst open in the Main hall, nearly killing several people. A figure stumbled in, dragging blood behind him, and collapsed on the floor. At this point a hooker landed on his head, nearly killing him. And now we switch to Princess Sora's bedroom. (Anyone tired of this switching yet?) She had invited Prince Matt up to her room, and I bet you know why. But before could get into their little party under the covers, they heard a cannon be fired. "Wait, do they even own a cannon?" Asked Princess Sora. Prince Matt just shrugged, and already did not have a shirt on. And then something fell through the roof, nearly crushing the two would-be lovers. "Um, maybe we should wait to do this?" asked Prince Matt.

* * *

**Back in the main party room...**

The music had stopped. Food was forgotten. All was focused on a crater in the center of the room. "What is it?" asked one partygoer. "It appears to be a princess." said another. "Nah, it's just Prince Kouji." said Prince Ash, just walking in, Princess Kari not far behind. The Prince rose, smoking and bloody. "Good gravy I finally found you guys." he said, breathing heavily. "If you'll listen, I'll tell you what happened to me."

**From for over the hills and through the rainbow. **(Parody of over the hills and far away, By Nightwish/Gary Moore.)

I was punched one summer's night.  
Northward, I was bound.  
I said she was pretty,  
her fist was profound.

I landed in the station house,  
and I heard something yelp,  
And as they led me to my cell,  
I knew that I'd killed a puppy.  
"You stand accused of puppycide,"  
I heard the bailiff say.  
I knew without an alibi,  
tomorrow's light would mourn my freedom.

Over the hills and through the rainbow,  
for ten long hours I'd count the days.  
Stale bread and the cheese,  
a prisoner's life for me there was.

I knew that it would cost me dear,  
but yet I dare not say.  
How I had gotten there that fateful night,  
a secret it must stay.  
I had to fight back tears of rage.  
My heart beat like a drum.  
For with a chick of my best friend,  
I spent my final night of freedom. (Should've been drunk.)

Over the hills and through the rainbow I swore I would return one day.  
Far from the Burgermon and the cheese,  
back in her arms I swears I'd be.  
Over the hills and through the rainbow.

Over the hills and,  
over the hills and,  
over the hills and through the rainbow.

Each night within my prison cell,  
I looked out through the bars.  
I dreamt of the letters that she might write.

One day I'll know the taste of freedom.

Over the hills and far away,  
I prays I will return one day.  
As sure as the rivers reach the seas,  
back in her arms I swear I'll be.

Over the hills and through the rainbow,  
I swore I'd return one day.  
Far from the Burgermon and the cheese,  
back in her arms I swore I'd be.

Over the hills and through the rainbow,  
I pray I would return one day.  
As sure as the rivers reach the seas,  
back in her arms is where I'll be.

And then the room fell silent. "Really." Prince Kouji said. "The Burgermon are really mean." Prince Ash walked up to him, and gave him his shoulder. "Come on, let's get you to medic station." Princess Zoe looked around. She looked at Prince Tucker also. "Who knew he liked me that much?" But he was a little bit more occupied, as he was looking at the guy who got crushed earlier. "Judging by his incredibly stupid hair, that this is Xigbar." A moan escaped the figure on the ground. "Right on number 14..." Prince Tucker grabbed Xigbar and shook him repeatedly. "Where the others?" he demanded. But suddenly the other 11 leaped in, nearly killing more partygoers. "The boy with the key is in danger because of our plans number 14. Let's keep it that way. Mwu ha ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed Xemnas. Prince Tucker started to whisper at Zexion. "Has the leader been on happy pills again?" Zexion shook his head. "No, he just saw Larxene in the bathhouse." Prince Tucker was confused. "She has a flat chest, why would he be surprised?" Zexion cracked a very, very, small smile. "Did you know that Tifa Lockhart has been bleaching her hair?" Prince Tucker laughed. "Now that would make anyone like that." Zexion shrugged. "She beat him up to kingdom come." Xemnas's head turned suddenly. "Did someone mention Kingdom Hearts?" All the organization sighed back at him. "No Boss, we didn't." By this point, the party had definitely got revived. Some teens had actually made the crater in a hot tub, Prince T.K. and Princess Kari included. (And as most people know, hot tubs are perfect places to get either "frisky" or "chummy" if you'll pardon the language.) And so, their romance was rekindled, if however weakly. Until Itachi jumped in not wearing suit.

* * *

**Later.....**

The party finally ended. Although damage to the castle was tremendous, the laptop o' awesomeness was happy (okay, mildly agreeing) to help. For all the Digimon that belonged to the princes and princesses were sleeping like logs. The only Digimon still up the were Prince Ash and Prince Tucker's, by the names of Calumon and Ulforceveedramon. And if you're wondering why he's there, you're better off not knowing. except for that he is indeed the partner of Prince Ash. He also Digivolves into Beelzemon BM, but not saying how. Ulforceveedramon shifted around a little bit. "Paragraph 47, in which I shift my ass. Not bad for a name." Prince Ash looked sternly at him. "Dude, this is a B rated fan fiction! You can't swear in it! Oh crap I just broke the fourth wall." Uitlforceveedramon smiled. "Good, we're all happy now. What are the R.O.E sir?" Prince Ash looked up quizzically. "Rules of engagement? We're not in the battlefield right now man." Ulforceveedramon also looked confused. "Battlefield? I was talking about the rules to get married." Prince Ash looked somberly ahead. "No one knows that man, no one knows that." BRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG! "Okay, back to work my teammate. My Bro and Calumon are already working." Ulforceveedramon walked on beside him. "Your brand of humor Sir, is quite unique." Prince Ash smiled. "I know man."

Anyway in the dormitories for the princes, things were going downhill. Yet another fight to decide who would earn Princess Kari's love erupted. At the same time, due to fact to the bathrooms were utterly filthy and/or destroyed, Prince Tai and Prince Michael decided to sneak on over to the other side. You know what's going on. "Isn't this thing illegal?" asked Prince Michael. "No. It can be considered mischief." Prince Tai said in response. "And anyways, my nuts are burned, so I need something to take my mind off the pain." They slowly peered over the wall, but steam was in their way. "Maybe this is a good thing. We can't get caught." But Prince Tai would not be persuaded from his course. He began rapidly blowing the steam away, and then saw them. **CENSORED CENSORED**

**CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED** **CENSORED**

**CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED** **CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED** **CENSORED**

**CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED**. (For your safety.) "If we ever do that again, remind me of what happened to us this time." Prince Tai said, breathing hard. "Speak for yourself. Princess Mimi gave me a special treat." Prince Michael said in response. Prince Tai looked incredulously at him. "You've got to be kidding me. No way in hell would any girl being spied on would give you something like that." Prince Michael shrugged. "Well, Princess Mimi was always the odd one." And they silently snuck back to get some invisibility cloaks from the weapons vault, which happened to be outside the bathhouses. (Will they ever learn?)

_Author's Note: The Uncensored version will be written after the story is finished. (Not!!!!)_

* * *

**The next morning....**

"Finally! The next date is now available to be decided!" Angewomon shouted joyously. Most of princes and princesses were still asleep. Of course it was four in the morning, but never mind that. "Love knows no time! So get ready to learn who today's couple is!" There was slight yawning and mumbling, and supposedly Prince Ash mumbling something rather funny, somewhat along the lines of "Camus! Stop mooning the cows! Your ass is to pink for that, and it's frankly disturbing." or something of that matter. "Okay, the couple will be Prince Matt and Princess Sora." said Angewomon loudly. "No thanks," Prince Matt said coming down the stairs, "We already had our date." And Princess Sora followed behind him, though she looked different.

"HOLY SHIT SHE'S PREGNANT!" and "HOW DID SHE GET SO BIG SO QUICKLY?" also, "Why you haven't screwed with me yet sweetie?" (The last one will not be announced who said it.) That woke Prince Ash up. "TUCKER!" he shouted. Then without warning, a nurse walked in. "Master Ash, Prince Tai has just keeled over dead." Prince Ash looked stunned. "How did this happen?" the nurse responded quickly. "I was just treating his burns, and he keeled over as soon as I was done!" Though there was a slight silence for several seconds, Prince Ash once again broke it. "TUCKER!" And Ulforceveedramon walked in, holding Prince Tucker by his shirt. "Did you alter it so Princess Sora got pregnant? Also, was the laptop used to kill Prince Tai?" Prince Tucker nodded. "I hate that rat bastard." Everyone else was thoroughly enjoying this, in case you didn't know. "Okay give me the laptop, and answer me one last question. Can a girl get pregnant during her period if she's bleeding at the time?" Prince Tucker handed over the laptop, and answered the question truthfully. "How the frick would I know? You might though." "Just testing you." Prince Ash began rapidly typing on his laptop and as he did so, Princess Sora's stomach de-swelled, and Prince Tai walked in, still wearing bandages all over his body. "AHHHH!" screamed Prince T.K. "It's the Dragon Prince, here to get revenge for his bad movie reviews! Run away!" Prince Tai was not amused.

Meanwhile, Prince Ash started talking to Princess Sora. "Now I did reduce the growth, but the baby is still alive. One thing laptop cannot do is take away life. In case you're wondering, Prince Tai was just in suspended animation." Princess Sora nodded. "This is your punishment for getting frisky at a party." Prince Ash said, beginning to walk away. "Okay..." Angewomon said again. "In light of current events, the only date pair I technically have left is Prince T.K. and Princess Kari." However at this point, the author wimped out and skipped the whole sequence, as not to offend any of the fans of this match-up.

Later at dinner, some of the guests decided to cook dinner. Of course by guest, we mean the Akatsuki, including Pein, who had just arrived. Two of the princes ordered take out, however. "Okay, it's dinnertime!" called Itachi from the kitchen. Out from the kitchen streamed a vast assortment of delicacies, from a humongous swordfish, 200 perfectly grilled steaks, tanks of oh so many kinds of drinks, steaming lobsters, a vat full of fruit, a giant squid, wafer thin soup crackers, an amazing salad, 300 chicken wings, communion wine, and finally a 30 foot giant turkey. Of course the Digimon and all the other guests (the organizations) would be eating it too. (P.S. Each member of the Akatsuki made one item. Try to match them up! Answers after last chapter.) Then there was a masterful feasting and merrymaking for the rest of the night, or at least until they announced one person who made something. Zetsu made the steaks. And now you know why two princes ordered take out before hand.

After everyone had stopped throwing up, they decided to finish the meal. Zetsu had been chained to the wall, much to Sasori's enjoyment. However, the snipers had appeared once more in the castle. "Haha!" Prince Davis said at them. "You can't fool me again!" he started laughing uproariously. "Dude, we're over here!" For Prince Davis then turned around, and saw everyone is cowering under the table. "Awww, of all the times to be incorrect." Then all the snipers took aim.

**WHAT A STARTLING TWIST? IS THIS THE END FOR PRINCE DAVIS? NOT ON YOUR LIFE! THERE'S STILL MORE CHAPTER TO WRITE!**

"It will not end if this way!" cried a voice, leaping into the line of fire. "Somebody cover them!" Prince Ash shouted, and Ulforceveedramon used his wings to beat back most of the bullets, but one sniper got him in the back, making him fall. Prince Davis had escaped at this point, and was hiding under the table.

But the person trying to protect him had not. Of the people you could have thought of to save Prince Davis, this person would have been the last one you would've thought of. It was Princess Zoe, and she also took a bullet in the back. The snipers, realizing they were out-matched, to quickly left the hall, as it was in shambles. Prince Ryo quickly called an ambulance. Within minutes, they arrived.

If you are wondering how they were able to get up the mountain so quickly, do not forget that there's a city under the mountain. They quickly loaded her into the ambulance, and drove off, but not before Prince Ash had gotten the hummer ready. (Despite the fact that he can't drive.) "And now, Prince Ryo, please say something romantic." He happily obliged, and picked something off the car floor. "[Excerpt from Pg. 192 of **The Lusty Scoundrel**]: _She slapped Beresford hard across the face, her gloved hand breaking like a velvet wave upon his violently outcropping cheekbone. "But what of Rodrigo? What of my marriage, my family, my delicately perfumed bosom?" Beresford's baritone laughter echoed through the masculine caverns of his barrel-like chest. "Forget Rodrigo," he commanded, clutching Heloise even tighter against his glistening, rippled thorax. "Rodrigo may be rich and almost equally as handsome as I, but there's one thing he can never give you." Slowly, Beresford's rugged, stable-worn hands began to palpate the blushing flesh of Heloise's shoulders. "Really good backrubs," he bellowed; "I got a certificate from the city college!" _

There was silence. And then Prince Davis's nose spurted blood. "Okay, okay what that heck happened there?" "Evidently," said Prince Ken, "Something that Prince Davis will never be capable of doing." If you try this in real-life, DEAR GOD DON'T! Meanwhile, Prince Davis's biceps twisted inside his incredibly small jacket, churning like the Mediterranean, and glistening like the morning dew, ready to strikeout at his antagonist. Or so it appeared, because as we all know, Prince Davis, has no muscles. "If you guys are done being wimps," Prince Ash said nearly hitting a pedestrian, "Princess Yolei could you please read something heroic to fortify our courage?" However she was looking at Prince Davis's biceps with a magnifying glass. "Huh? What? You want me to read something heroic? Okey-dokey." And she picked up a book on the floor.

"[Excerpt from Pg. 258 of **War of the Warlords**]: _Vlad gazed at the blood-soaked battlefield, slavering at the gruesome sight before him. "Calm yourself," said Genghis Khan, worried his unholy alliance might not survive the Impaler's demonic thirst. "Napoleon and Caesar are formidable opponents. We cannot allow Caesar's legions to overwhelm our eastern flank." Vlad nodded in agreement. "We cannot, Khan, nor can we allow Napoleon to storm my castle." There was a hushed silence and a cold wind. Khan looked at his partner, knowing he was under a great deal of stress. Suddenly his hands reached out, landing firmly on Vlad's tense shoulders. "I give really good backrubs," Khan bellowed. "I got a certificate from the city college!" _There was another silence, a very awkward and long silence, broken only by Prince Ash hitting a mime. "Sir Ash, why do you have this in your car?" asked Calumon, who happened to have been in the trunk. "Because, war-torn comedy is very funny. And Prince Tucker wrote the romance." "Speaking of which, where is he?" asked Princess Kari. Prince Matt responded quickly. "He went in the ambulance with the medics. He is very much in love with Princess Zoe. Also, Prince Kouji went with them, as it's time for his checkup." Two hours to get to the hospital it took, before buzzards near the exit started chasing them, nearly resulting in several people nearly losing an eye. Finally they got to the ER. "Dr.'s Ross, Greene, Carter, Pratt, please report to the operating room so you can get your 5 billion-dollar salaries." (That was a joke, a terrible, pathetic joke.) "Whoops, we need a touching, tearful scene first. Please go back to sipping your coffee."

* * *

**In the hospital room where we had decided to put the Princess......**

"Do you think she'll be okay?" asked Princess Rika, being sensitive for once. "No doubt." said Prince TK "The authors aren't that evil, and one loves the patient." Princess Mimi suddenly spoke up. "They might just kill her to make it more dramatic." They all shook their heads, including the authors. "Okay lets leave Prince Tucker alone." Prince Ash said, ushering everyone outside aside from the fact that they were way over the visitor limit. Prince Tucker stared at Princess Zoe for a minute, and he poked her head. And then he began to sing.

**How am I supposed to live with you in a coma? **(parody of How my supposed to live with out you? by Micheal Bolton.)

I could hardly believe itWhen I saw you fall todayI had to come and get you out of there. They said you were dyin'Someone shot you in the back,From the coma you're in, I see it's trueSo tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin' (Wait, she can't!)Then tell me one thing more before I go,Tell me how am I supposed to live was you in a coma?Now that I've been lovin' you so long,How am I supposed to live with you in a coma,How am I supposed to carry on,When all that I've been livin' for is gone.I didn't come here for cryin',Didn't come here to 's just a dream of mine might be coming to an how can I blame you,When I built this song aroundThe hope that someday we'd be so much more than I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for even now it's more than I can fake due to this terrible I don't wanna face the price I'm gonna pay for dreamingNow that your dream has come true. (The dream of being shot in the back and serenaded by an underage prince in a hospital bed while in a coma.)

"And I do believe that's quite enough from Mr. Bad Singer." Prince Kouji said, because he was in the room over. "This is how you sing." and he cleared his throat. "Moscow! The Queen of the Russian Land... Built like a rock to stand... Proud and Divine... Moscow! Your golden towers glow... Even through rising snow... Sparkle they shine!" "What the heck is that?" Prince Tucker said incredulously. "The first few lines of Moskau, by a band I can't pronounce. But I do know that they are German, like me." (He looks German to me.) "Could you guys please move?" asked a doctor coming in. "We need to take her to the operating room." And then they wheeled her out.

* * *

**About 30 minutes later....**

Everyone was nervous, and everyone was tense. The princes and princesses could sit still, due to the fact that their heart rates were abnormally fast. And then the doctor came out. "She's fine, but we did have to do something to keep her alive." Everyone leaned forward to hear. "We had to enlarge her booty. How else could the bullets be pulled out?" And then Prince Ryo stood up, about to say something very important. Or not. "I have only one thing to say." _Oh dear_. _Brace yourself_. They all thought in unison. "**What she gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?" **Several of them began hitting their heads repeatedly on the wall, and some people just gaped at him. After all, what did you expect?

In a few minutes Prince Tucker came out supporting Princess Zoe, as she could barely walk. Or sit down. "My sweetie tells me that your making fun of me." said Princess Zoe, glaring at Prince Ryo. He took several steps back, but then he hit something. A barrier, fencing only he and Princess Zoe in. "Let Mortal Kombat begin!" said Prince Ash with a very low voice. "What the frack are you talking about man?" But it was too late. "Liu Kang versus Sonya. Begin!" Prince Ryo screamed. It was over in a second, with Princess Zoe winning with a beastality from Zephyrmon. Nevertheless his fangirls attacked her, but were held back in time, nearly averting World War III, as there are that many fangirls of Prince Ryo.

The evening passed slowly, with occasional outbursts of frustration from the Akatsuki, who couldn't decide who got the TV remote, excluding Hidan, whose religion doesn't believe in remote controls, but does believe in watching TV. Organization 13 also created a little bit of a stir, because Demyx, Luxord, and Lexaeus could not decide who was the best break dancer. Of course to Lexaeus break dancing meant crushing things with gravity and your appendages. He was to be chained by a no-gravity spell above the alligator pit.

* * *

**Later....**

"Princess Yolei? Did you need something?" asked Prince Ash. It was late at night, but a lot of them are still up. Most had gathered in the billiards room, but Xigbar had to be sent to his room. The reason? When he heard the phrase "Shooting Pool." he picked up his pistols and started shooting up the swimming pool. While some people were swimming in it. "Just a question." she said. "Do you know were Prince Tucker is? I haven't seen him around lately." Prince Ash suddenly turn rather serious. "in the basement we have a portal. He goes in there every week. He started going about a week before he went into the seventh grade, on every Friday. I know only a few things about it. 1. He wears a red and gold suit of armor with a large sword when he goes in there. 2. Where he goes is a huge wasteland, and I've only seen a couple more people. 3. Three of them attacked us on our way here from the other castle. The only other one is a female knight in blue and silver armor. 4. She is supposedly very hot."

And then he looked at her. "Does that answer your question?" Princess Yolei nodded. Then he picked up a cue stick, and rapped the ceiling with it. "Attention! I hate to the bearer of bad news, but I just got a message from Angewomon, and she says that you'll have to have decided who to marry." There was silence. A longer period of silence then there had been so far. So long that the whole castle seemed to be stuck in time. And then the room erupted. "WWWWWHHHHHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT?" Miles away, in Digi-Russia, even they heard the shout. "Oy, it appears to be dat dey have a problem down et the castle."

_**What will happen next? Will anyone get married? Who is the real father of princess Sora's baby? ( Of course it's Prince Matt, but I need the tension.) Stay tuned for the Final (Hopefully.) Chapter/alternate ending/answers/secrets of Don't Piss of the Prince! **_

_**Now with 50% less carbohydrates, and not part of a daily breakfast.**_

**And lastly, which song should be playing during the credits? **

**I suggest "King of Kings" by Manowar, or anything by Dragonforce. Ciao. **

**Don't Piss Off The Prince Ch.5 **

**A Digimon Fanfic.**

**What happens when the Unstoppable Force meets the Immovable Object? Answer: A wedding.**

Recap: Ash caught Tucker in a compromising position with Zoe and tried to throw him out of the house. Theorizing about what might have caused Yolei's heart attack, Ken concluded it was intentional. As the police were about to make an arrest, an unexpected confession resulted in another suspect being taken into custody. Matt snuck into Sora's examining room as the doctor delivered mixed news regarding their baby. Coming: Sora's condition forces Matt to make some difficult decisions.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! THAT IS NOT CORRECT! That was the info on today's Bold and Beautiful soap!

Here's the real recap: Believing he's stuck in 1968 forever, Davis made love to Yolei because she looks like Kari. (????) When Kari found them in bed, Davis expressed his love for her. Still in the past, Davis prepared to ship out to Vietnam while a T.K. look-alike kissed Kari. Meanwhile, T.K., who has Davis's DNA sample, vowed to Zoe that they wouldn't be separated. Ash finally understood why Matt was letting Sora adopt the baby. Tucker and Ken dream of each other, (???) even as Tai maligned his rival to Ken. Coming: A dramatic rescue in Mendorra.

Umm... only the Vietnam part was correct. Other, **final** recap: The Princesses of the digital world were supposed to choose their princes, but something unfortunate happened. At this time, The Author, Prince Ash, along with his little brother Prince Tucker, had to step in, and stop chaos from happening, all because Ash had to go to the bathroom while writing. The Akatsuki and Org. XIII crashed through the mess hall during a Spanish play, which eventually resulted in the furnaces/ generators blowing up half the castle. Prince Ash offered to take them to his castle, high in the mountains. After a shexy party, Princess Sora got pregnant by Matt's 'something' as it wasn't by his hand. Also, Prince T.K. and Princess Kari's relationship was slightly rekindled. Afterwards, Angewomon announced that all of them had to have decided whom they were going to marry. Unfortunately, their shouts of surprise ripped a hole in space and time, sending several of the Princes into the Vietnam War, with no means of escape. Except for their humor and a rusty army recon car with a plutonium engine. (Do you sense a hazard?) Now, we continue...

**Somewhere in the Vietcong.... **

The humidity was practically a monsoon. Birds circled about the trees, squawking and calling out, looking for a place to land. Of course, machine guns were almost on every tree, so this made it hard. A rock slowly rose from the ground, and winged an enemy soldier. "Damn. Ever since we got here, it's been kill after kill after kill." The rock complained, and got up. "You are in the territory of a U.S. battalion. If you a enemy to them please stand up and face away from me." The soldier did so. "Now sing We Will Rock You by Queen in Swedish." The soldier began singing. "Yep. You're an enemy. Back to camp for you." the rock said, and pulled of its hat. "Good thing I made that foxhole. My hat would have looked so odd twelve inches in the air." It pulled out a radio, and called in on it. "VKnight, we got a virus. Repeat, we got a virus. Bringing him in." There was a crackle on the radio, and a voice came out. "Good work Wormfang. Hurry. Blader is getting tired." "On my way." Wormfang sent back.

**Later.... **

It was a simple camp. Little tech, lots of attitude. If you looked at it from above, a birdie would be flashed. Four soldiers sat around a fire, with some animals next to them. "I'm telling you Lock, ain't nothing we can do to get back in time!" one said to the youngest looking one. He shook his head. "Blader's got an idea. Involves the Recon." There was a rustling in the bushes, and Wormfang came out leading the prisoner. "Ahoy. Got a virus here." One of the soldiers nodded. "Send him to Blader." Wormfang nodded, and replied hastily. "Thanks Silverwolf." He turned to the prisoner. "Get inside that tent over there." And he shoved him towards it. Minutes later, he came out pale and scared. He stumbled out, and fell over ten steps away from the camp. "He dead?" asked Silverwolf. "Nah." said Dragonclaw, the only one who hadn't talked yet. "He's just KO'd." Suddenly the tent flap opened. A fourth soldier came out, wielding a pistol. "Okay, we leave tonight. And screw the codenames. It's annoying." He turned to Prince Tucker, (Lock) and then to Prince Kouji. (Silverwolf) "Get the Recon ready." He turned to Prince Tai (Dragonclaw) and Prince Davis next. (VKnight.) "Get all the supplies ready, and wipe our traces off history. That leaves Prince Ken and me. We'll get the path ready." (Wormfang is Ken. Blader is Prince Ash.)

* * *

**That night...**

The moon shone dully on the proceedings, and cast a ghostly pallor on every thing.

"Is it ready?" Prince Tai asked. "Yes." was Prince Ash's reply. He gathered them all together, and began to speak. "There is only one way to get back to our time. We must go 88-MILES PER HOUR! No, really." And they all piled in. "The wedding will start in around two days. We have to make it to Russia." Prince Ash said, and then he floored it. The shockwave was instantaneous, but they sped up slowly, reaching 78 mph easily. "We need ten more!" Shouted Prince Tucker, as a bullet suddenly ripped by him. "Son of a Bitch!" Prince Tai said. "It's the enemy!" And suddenly, a rift appeared. **"RRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" **the rift roared. "HANG ON TO SOMETHING!" Shouted Prince Kouji over the roar of the suddenly, they warped into the future.

**END PART 1**

**Meanwhile, back in the future (or present.):**

"What do you think happened to them?" asked Princess Kari. "No idea." Replied Princess Sora, lying down due to her pregnancy. All the Princesses and their Digimon assistants were out in the castle's many gardens, relaxing and staying out of the decorator's way, as the weddings were going on as planned sans the grooms. Not that anyone cared, except for the Princesses. "Okay, let's recap what has happened." Said Princess Yolei. "Some of our Boyfriends are in the past, sent to god knows where, time is in flux, and Ulforceveedramon is starting to breakdown." Like magic, Ulforceveedramon dashed in, freaking out and rolling on the ground. "SHEEP SHEEP SHEEP. I LOVE SHEEP. SHEEP IS TASTY." Hawkmon smacked him on the head. "Get a hold of yourself my liege!" Ulforceveedramon got up. "Thank you Hawkmon. I needed that." He then walked into a wall, and was knocked out. The girls continued talking. "Not much we can do, just hope they don't totally screw history up." Princess Mimi said. Prince Michael walked in, and embraced her. "At least I'm still here." And he kissed her on the forehead. However, unbeknownst to the lovebirds, their P.D.A. was a little too much for the girls whose boyfriends had been sent back in time. They ran from the garden, stifling their emotions. Now, before you make any match-ups, Princess Kari, Princess Zoe, and Princess Rika stayed. "Kari, I have a question.," asked Princess Rika, looking devilishly at her. "Who do you like more? Ash or T.K.?" All eyes turned to Princess Kari. "I really can't answer, because I know that Kari X T.K. fans may be watching." Princess Zoe laughed. "Okay smarty, who do you like more, Kouji, Tucker, or Takuya?" Snapped Princess Kari. That shut her up. A few minutes passed quietly, nothing happening, until a giant Bluish-Purple cat leaped into the garden. "Catch it Hidan!" shouted a voice from above them. "SHUT THE F*%& UP KAKAZU! I'M WORKING ON IT!" shouted Hidan back, chasing after it. Hidan ran past the Princesses, already bloody. "Hey ladies." he said as he passed. Kakazu was running a few feet behind him, trying to keep up. He said nothing, except "It's gonna cost alot to repair those buildings." And then they looked around. Yes, it would cost a lot. $ 354,336,363,097 to be exact. "What a... nice way to earn their keep here." Princess Kari said nervously. "Yes, I just don't want to be here when they try to catch that nine tails guy. Prince Ash is going to have to make a side story just for that!" Princess Mimi said, practically fused with Prince Michael by now. "Princess Rika, in all her psycho tomboy ness, spoke up at this statement. "A, you just broke the fourth wall, B, You're implying that he gets back here in time for that." she replied coldly. "I believe that they will." Princess Zoe said. "I believe that Aang can save the world." (Silence.) "I'm sorry, wrong time stream." Then a rift appeared in the sky, because the author is tired of no plot development. "I'm back!" Shouted all the time warp princes in unison from the flying jeep. "Time for a song!" Prince Ash said as they crashed into the garden. And arose from the wreckage and began to sing, all of them.

Another psycho song 

(Parody of Another Irish Drinking song)

Gather 'round, ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while  
And hearken to me mournful tale about that Vietnamese Isle  
Let's all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone  
And lift our voices in another Psycho drinking song

Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox  
Me brother drank the whiskey 'til he wound up in a box  
My other brother in the Troubles met with his demise  
My sister has forever closed her smiling Psycho eyes

CHORUS:  
Now everybody's died  
So until our tears are dried  
We'll drink and drink and drink and drink,  
and then we'll drink some more  
We'll dance and sing and fight  
until the early morning light  
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up, and then go drinking once again

Kouji was killed in Kilkenny and Ken, he died in Clare  
T.K. from Tipperary died out in the Derry air  
Matt jumped into the River Shannon back in June  
Michael fell into the Erne, and T.K. is in the Toome

"Cleanliness is godliness" me Uncle Pat would sing  
He broke his neck a'slippin' on a bar of Irish Spring  
O'Grady, he was 80 though his bride was just a pup  
He died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up

CHORUS

Tucker fought with Mimi near the banks of old Doneen  
He took out his shillelagh and he stabbed her in the spleen  
Crazy Uncle Ash believed he was a leprechaun -  
In fact he's just a leper, and his arms and legs are gone

When Takuya Johnson broke his neck it was a cryin' shame  
He wasn't really Irish, but he went to Notre Dame  
Davis crossed the street and by a bus was hit  
But he was just a Scotsman, so nobody gave a (ARRGHH)

CHORUS

Me drunken Uncle Ryo tried to drive home from the bar  
The road rose up to meet him when he fell out of his car  
Irony was what befell my great-grand Uncle,  
He choked upon the very last potato in the land

Takuya lived in Ulster town, he used to smuggle arms  
Until the British killed him and cut off his lucky charms

CHORUS  
Someday soon I'll leave this world of pain and toil and sin  
The Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin  
Me only wish is when the Savior comes for me and you

(a tempo)

He kills the cast of Yugioh and Garfield too!

CHORUS

Then the jeep exploded behind them, capping off the song. "Let the rest of the story began!" Prince Ash cried out, still in army fatigues.

**END PART 2**

**Later, in the game room.... **

"I challenge you to a SSBB tournament!" Cried out Zetsu and Zexion in unison at Prince Ash. "So be it." Ash said, pulling out a modded Guitar Hero controller. "No dupes, no spamming, no team ups." Zexion said, initiating the brawl. Without warning, Prince Ash pressed up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A. His opponents blew up spontaneously. "Konami code bitches. Suck it." Ash said. Zexion flipped him off. Zetsu was ROFL. "Let me hug your glorious torso milord!" Said Ulforceveedramon, who had regained a little bit of sanity. "Pimp slap! Rejected!" Shouted Prince T.K. who flew in on cue. "Fan girl attack!" Shouted Prince Ryo from the hallway. Then they swarmed in, and Prince Ryo folded his hands, and began to pray. "Lord, please pray for the souls of these bitches, guide my pimp hand and make it strong lord!" Then he swished his hand through the air, and got it ripped off from the fan girls. "You are not a pimp." Princess Rika said from a chair nearby, reading Boys life. Then the fan girls began killing each other for Prince Ryo's hand. "Back to the hospital." Mumbled Prince Tucker from the sofa and the Japanese PS2. (No, seriously. We own one.)

* * *

At the hospital....

"You're regulars now. You have full membership to our morgue if you want it." said the receptionist when they reached it. "Another hand replacement please Nicky." Prince Ash said. "Certainly." She said. "Right this way." Then she almost led them to the furnace. "Oops, my bad. Here's the operating room." she said. "Finally, I can attract real girls with a sexy hand." Prince Ryo said. "Marry me you dastardly wimp." said Princess Rika. "You need protection, I've got it." Everyone looked at her. "What? No one has proposed, aside from Prince Michael and Prince Ken." she said. "You know what? I think I'll think it over in surgery." Prince Ryo said.

In the surgery room...

"Okay doctors, we will begin operating." Said a doctor before Ryo was knocked out. "And you know, with these outfits, any lunatic on the street could get in here and pretend to be a doctor." said the same doctor. "Let's put on some music to make this more interesting." said another Doctor. "Um? Genlmen? U'm till awuk!" Ryo said through the sleeping gas mask he was wearing. Then a doctor put his Ipod into a player nearby, and the song began to play. "Oh, I love this song!" Said one. "NOOOOOO!" Prince Ryo shouted from his sound proof mask. Yes, It was COTTON EYE JOE!!! OMG!!!

Cotton eye Joe (No parody this time, I couldn't touch it).

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye JoeI'd been married long time agoWhere did you come from, where did you go?Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye JoeI'd been married long time agoWhere did you come from, where did you go?Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?He came to town like a midwinter stormHe rode through the fields, so handsome and strongHis eyes was his tools and his smile was his gunAround this time, Prince Ryo lost consciousness, and the doctors put on a different song, as Cotton eye Joe is great as a knockout drug for the weak minded.

* * *

Darkness was all that surrounded Prince Ryo. Darkness of the heart. Darkness of the mind. "Wake up you ninnie!" shouted Prince Matt, who was there with his would be wife, who was getting a check up. Everyone was gathered around Prince Ryo's bed, drinking mountain dew. Okay, just Org XIII, the authors, and Princess Rika. "So, will you marry me?" she asked. "Yep. The darkness in my mind is gone. I'd be glad to." Xemnas turned around suddenly. "How about darkness of the heart? Do you still have that?" "Um, I guess so..." Prince Ryo said. "Excellent." Xemnas murmured. Marluxia just shrugged with the others. "I think we should remove him." he said. "Seconded." Axel said. Now we shift to the authors. "These weddings... how am I going to finish these during finals?" Prince Ash said. "We have the chapel, food, guests, etc. The minister is what we really need." Prince Tucker said back. (Rapid fire suggestions between them.-) "Pooh? No. Garfield? No. Link? No? Capt. Falcon? Never. Chuck Norris? Couldn't book him. Arnold S.? No, he'd terminate us. Mario? Maybe, but no. Pico? You're on speed. Mr. T? Possible.. Xemnas? ... Davis? .... Nagato? Dead. Skeith? Who? Sora? No. Luffy? No. **Jeffiroth? **Yes!" "JEFFIROTH!" a choir sang from nowhere. "To the timeskip!" Prince Ash cried out as Prince Ryo examined his iron fist. "Bitchin." he said. "And now, a song!" Prince Davis said, appearing with Starbucks doughnuts

Starbucks never fries (Parody of Spirit never dies.)

There was a place - a little townWhere we used to play and laugh aroundWe went too far - bombing that cafeAnd the light moved away from meAnd the starbucks never fried - the world belongs to themThis is when I've been given time to live and seeI'll never give up - never give inWon't stop believing cause I'm gonna winSing with my soul before I get oldCause there may be no tomorrowThere is no limit to what can be doneClimbing the chain with power so strongDusty roads - down the wayLeaving the future behind meAnd the starbucks never fries - let the coffee take you higherI know what it means to burn my tongueThat's how I began to learnSo never give up - never give inRise from the cafe if you're gonna winSing with your soul - soon you'll be oldFight the demons that work thereThere is no limit to what can be doneI've seen love in vainI have felt the painTorn in desireLead by the fireAnd as I lived it all the world became to smallAnd my coffee grew colderThe coffee takes me higherNever give up - never give inWon't stop believing cause I'm gonna winSing with my soul before I get oldWhat if there's no tomorrowThere is no limit to what can be done!

"What was the point of that song?" Asked Princess Kari, who had got some Dunkin Doughnuts. "To show that starbucks cannot be defeated. He is protested globalization by buying their crap. Way to go." Prince T.K. said, in Tommy Hilfiger Jeans. (Bad examples aren't they?)

**TIME SKIP TIME SKIP TIME SKIP TIME SKIP TIME SKIP TIME SKIP**

**Several days later...**

"I can't believe that we actually got permission to use Jeffiroth as the Minister!" Prince Tucker. "Um, about that..." Prince Ash said. "You didn't..." "Yeah. I did not get the Grand master Fan girl's Permission." "So, no Jeffiroth?" Prince Tucker said. "No, here's here. I just wrote him in." Princess Mimi walked over to them and asked the ultimate question. "Who is Jeffiroth?" Prince Tucker inhaled deeply, and bean to speak. "Imagine the most evil, unscrupulous, sadistic, vicious and cruel villain from any book, movie, video game or TV show you'd like. Go ahead. Picture him or her very clearly in your head.

Add wings. Lots of wings. Three sets of wings—an angel's, a demon's, and a fairy's. Add one more wing that slipped in there by mistake, a shiny rainbow-colored feathery one that might be found on more exotic species of parrots.

Add leather. Lots of leather. Black leather. Yards and yards of it, tight and constricting, wrapping every inch of skin that isn't otherwise covered by chains and spikes.

Add hair. Lots of hair. Yards and yards of it, long and silky, all the way down to the floor and wrapped around the ankles three or four times, so long it strangles poor innocent woodland creatures trying to scurry by it on their way home. We are talking some Badass Locks.

Add sparkles. And an unearthly evil glowing aura of darkness. Add a little rain cloud overhead that spews down a constant shower of blood and tears.

Add a 100-piece orchestra, a full choir, a pyrotechnics display and Nobuo Uematsu conducting. You now have a vague inkling of Jeffiroth Princess Mimi." "Sounds like Princess Yolei's kind of man." Itachi said from the couch.

**The day of the weddings...**

(Can the author even get away with what will happen next?)

"Okay, almost all the guests are here." Princess Kari said, as she was the only one who hadn't decided yet. Procrastinator? No, she planned it all. "I have our baby Matt!" Called Princess Sora from nowhere. "When did you go into labor?" He asked, also appearing out of nowhere. "Here it is.. oops!" And then Princess Sora tripped, and the baby flew out the castle window. "NOOOOO!" Cried Prince Matt. *Poof* And Prince Matt woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." He said. "I'm here honeybunches!" Cried out Princess Yolei as she jumped at him. *Poof* "And Princess Sora woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." She said. "Hey baby. Want some of this?" Princess Yolei said from the doorway of Princess Sora's room. She was wearing a swimsuit. *Poof* And Prince Ken woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." he said. "I just had the most terrible dream. "Well, ignore it." Prince Tai said, rolling over to Prince Ken. *Poof* And Prince Tai woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." he said. "We dragon people have to stick together." Prince Takuya said from nowhere *Poof* And Prince Takuya woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." "What is it?" Prince Kouji said from the other side of the bed. *Poof* And Prince Kouji woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." he said. "You want this." Princess Yolei said from his doorway. "Don't deny it." *Poof* And Princess Zoe woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." Princess Mimi also woke up. "Crud, I didn't want that to be a dream." she said. "Huh?" asked Princess Zoe. *Poof* "Thank goodness it was only a dream." Prince Michael said. "What? asked Prince T.K. *Poof* "AAAAAAAAH!" Screamed Princess Kari . "Thank goodness it was only a dream, that was random." "Give me your body." Prince T.K. said. "Okay!" she said *Poof* And Prince T.K. woke up. "Thank goodness it was only a dream." he said. "It's Mpreg time!" shouted Prince Ryo. *Poof* And Prince Ryo woke up. "Crap. I thought I was free of Princess Rika." he said. "I'm right here." Princess Rika said. Prince Ryo's eyes grew wide. "Come on... Come on... wake up Ryo... No! I don't want to be uke!" he screamed as Prince Ash and Prince Tucker laughed hilariously in the game room. "Thank goodness it is only a fan fiction." replied Prince Davis, the only one to escape the dreams. "True that." Said Prince Henry, making his second to last appearance.

Finally... the moment you haven't been waiting for... the ACTUAL WEDDINGS!

**The cathedral...**

"Okay, almost all the guests are here." Princess Kari said, as she was the only one who hadn't decided yet again. "All that are left a two guys named Ravis and Kiteran. Where are they?" she said, reading off a clip board. Prince Ash took said clipboard from, and pointed to two guys. "Right there." He was pointing at his reflection and Prince Tucker. (Author's Note: Don't know what's going on? Wait till the Fall of Tellius story, coming soon.) "The minister's here!" cried the watchman. then the cathedral doors burst open, and Jeffiroth stood there. "**I must perform a series of weddings? At least I get paid!**" he said.

"_Jeffiroth!"_his choir sang. "That's going to get old quickly." Said Zetsu from the pews. And then all the grooms filed in. "Princes Ryo, Matt, Ken, Michael presenting!" Said Prince Tai, who was leading all the kicked off princes. "**Do we begin yet?" **asked Jeffiroth. "_Jeffiroth!" _sang his choir. "Here come the princesses!" called the gate man. Then, without warning, a rift appeared in space, and the Grandmaster Fangirl was livid. "You stole my Jeffiroth Redux! Now you must pay!" And she cast a tractor beam on Jeffiroth, and caused lightning to strike practically everyone. Even prince Ash and Prince Tucker were hit, even thought they are Gary Stu's. "We need a new minister. Barbosa! Will you marry them?" Asked Kisame, who was also there. "I'm a little busy right now!" He shouted over the screams of agony around the cathedral.

STOP! FROM HERE THE STORY SPLITS INTO TWO TIME LINES! First is Kari gets T.K., second is Ash gets her. Feel free to skip to whichever you prefer.

**T.K. wins storyline**

"No! T.K.'s hurt!" screeched Princess Kari. (Yes, she screeched.) She rushed to his side, holding up his crispy body, which is not be safe at all. "I can't lose you! I love you!" she cried out. Then a bright light enveloped him, as Brave Heart by Ayumi Miyazaki

began playing. And then he healed. "I love you too. Let's get married!" He said. "But we have no minister!" Prince Tucker said desperately. "That's okay, I once was a minister on Gaia for a wedding." Prince Ash said. "I can do it. And someone turn of Brave Heart please." As he climbed up to the altar, he picked up a strategy guide. And then he spoke. "Do you Princes, take these Princesses to be your unlawfully wedded wives? Do you promise to shower your significant other with praise so this fanfic gets god reviews? Do you promise to keep each other for as long as this fanfic exists? Do you swear that you will never allow a knockoff of this to come to pass? Will you forever remember Jeffiroth and his badass locks?" Then all the Princes and Princesses said this in unison: "I do!" Then Prince Ash smiled devilishly. "You may now falcon punch each other." Then they all wound up their fists, and shouted "FAAALLLLCCCOOOONNN PUNCH!"

* * *

Later, during the reception, Princess Kari and Prince T.K. were talking with Prince Ash and Prince Tucker. "You're leaving?" Princess Kari asked. "Yes." Prince Ash said. "The story is complete, and we have to write the other timeline. Come Calumon! Come on Ulforceveedramon." Then he turned to Princess Kari. "You know, I'm not sad I lost. He's the hero you deserve... I'm not the one you need right now. So I'll keep writing, because I can take it. Because I'm not your hero......I'm a silent guardian, a watchful

protector... a dark knight." And with that, he mounted a motorcycle, with prince Tucker riding in the sidecar. Then they rode off, Ulforceveedramon flying behind them with Calumon on his back.

I am writing high and low. (Parody of Hunted High and Low by Stratovarius)

I feel the wind in my hair  
And it's whispering, telling me things  
Of the storm that is gathering near  
Full of power I'm spreading my wings

Now I'm leaving my worries behind  
Feel the freedom of body and mind  
I am starting my journey, I'm drifting away with the wind  
I go

I am Writing High and Low  
Diving from the sky above  
Looking for, more and more, once again  
I'm Writing High and Low

Sometimes I may win sometimes I'll fail  
It's just a story that I write

After the storm there's a calm  
Through the clouds shines a ray of the sun  
I am carried from all of my harm  
There is no one that I can't outrun

Now I'm leaving my worries behind  
Feel the freedom of body and mind  
I am starting my journey, I'm drifting away with the wind  
I go

I am Writing High and Low  
Diving from the sky above  
Looking for, more and more, once again  
I'm Writing High and Low  
Sometimes I may win sometimes I'll fail  
It's just a story that I write.

Then Ash and Tucker landed in the real world. "Honey, I'm home!" Prince Ash said. "I'm telling you bro, already having Five concubines is enough! Why go after Kari too?" Prince Tucker asked. "Because, my twenty children need more choices." Prince Ash said. (Yeah, I'm kidding. I've never even dated.)

END OF T.K. WINS

**Ash wins Story line **

"The cathedral is crumbling!" Shouted Deidara. "Art is a bang!" Then a lone brick conked him on the head. 'He's overreacting. Continue the weddings." Konan said. Then Princess Kari ran up to Prince Ash, and hugged him tight. "Please marry me!" she begged. "Okay." prince Ash said, almost as if he had planned this all. "Will somebody get my best man in here?" he called. Then a tiny plushy Domo in a Chicken suit walked up. "Squeak." it said. "No minister still!" Cried out Prince Henry. "That's okay, we don't need one." Prince Tucker said. "Because my best man will do it!" Then the cathedral doors stood open, and a Pimp walked in. "So sorry, the shop was at it's busy hour." It was Kisuke Urahara. (How's that for the crossover of death?) Then Urahara began to speak. "Do you Princes, take these Princesses to be your unlawfully wedded wives? Do you promise to shower your significant other with praise so this fanfic gets god reviews? Do you promise to keep each other for as long as this fanfic exists? Do you swear that you will never allow a knockoff of this to come to pass? Will you forever remember Jeffiroth and his badass locks?" Then all the Princes and Princesses said this in unison: "I do!"

________________________________________________________________________

During the reception, the DJ put on a rather unfortunate song choice.

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life (By Jimmy Soul, no parody.)

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life  
Never make a pretty women your wife  
Go for my personal point of view  
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life  
Never make a pretty women your wife  
Go for my personal point of view  
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty women makes her husband look small  
it very often causes a system fall  
As soon as he marries her then she starts  
looking for things that will break his heart  
but if you make an ugly women your wife  
you'll be happy for the rest of your life  
An ugly women will put peals on that  
and she'll always give you a piece of that.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life  
Never make a pretty women your wife  
Go for my personal point of view  
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Don't let your friends tell you you have no taste  
go ahead and marry anyway  
Her face is ugly her eyes don't match  
take it from me she's a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life  
Never make a pretty women your wife  
Go for my personal point of view  
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

"But you chose a good looking girl, didn't you?" Asked Princess Kari. "Yep, but in truth, there is no such thing as a unattractive anime girl, unless deliberately made so." Prince Ash said. "Man, how are we going to write the Fire Emblem Fanfic now?" Bawled Prince Tucker.

**End of Ash wins.**

Credits:

Thanks to all the bands that produced the songs used in all 5 chapters. Thank you to the maybe 5 people who enjoyed this series. Thank you Digimon, Kingdom Hearts, and Naruto creators. And thank you for waiting so long for this to finish!

**Akatsuki Dinner Menu: **

Swordfish: Kisame

Steaks: Zetsu

Drinks: Sasori

Fruit: Who knows?

Lobster: Itachi

Giant squid: Kakazu

Chicken wings: Deidara

Wine: Hidan

Soup crackers: Konan

Turkey: Pain

Salad: No one.

Hope you enjoyed the complete collection. -Ash


End file.
